My stepdad called a day late to wish me a happy birthday. The message went something like this:
“This is a delayed message recorded on November 20. This is your stepfather calling on the day of your birthday to wish you . . . SHOOT IT. … SHOOT. … WELL SHOOT THE SON OF A BITCH!”
Then the sounds of multiple shot gun blasts.
He was calling from the duck blind.
KEN WHEATON 
Where are the ducks, and you forgot the dog’s name.
Hope you had a great birthday.
Happy belated, Ken!
Hope your fiesta was a blast. (Haha?)
Happy #bffday! *waves*
How awesome a birthday present did @thisisnotapril give you, huh? Huh?
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