I used to wake up hungover, horrified that I’d made an ass out of myself in front of some girl and ashamed I drove home drunk.
Now I wake up terrified and convinced that I got home at 2 in the morning and went on a Twitter rampage and have no recollection of it.
(I actually woke up this morning at 6:30 and went to the computer to check. Thankfully, nothing. This time. But if you’re interested in the potential of such a meltdown, follow me at @kenwheaton)