We’re moving to a new office space next month. So that means cleaning out 13 years worth of desk junk.
Things found in my desk:
- A number of 3.5-inch floppy disks (at least one dating back to college)
- Sports Illustrated that came out right after Saints won the Super Bowl
- three or four newspapers printed right after Katrina
- a Ray Nagin in Your Pocket key-chain
- a Ka-Bar knife
- two rolls of toilet paper
- complete set of Burger-King-issued toys from The Simpsons Movie (still in their individual bags);
- bacon wallet (not really bacon, just looks like it)
- check book from two banks ago
- student-loan repayment booklet (long ago paid off)
- chimp clock
- set of plastic office chimps
- plastic gorilla
- assorted stuffed primates
- Palm Pre
- Maytag Man (and his dog) bobble head
- Frank Perdue bobble head
- George W. Bush bobble head
- Kia hamster figure (wearing a Hamstar hooded sweat shirt)
- a number of bottle openers
- assorted thumb drives with lord-knows what own them
- a hand-written list of old log-in/password information, including one for MySpace (I tried; it no longer works)
- and a cassette tape of an interview I did with Gene Simmons from KISS in which he called men today a bunch of pussies because they get married and do what their wives tell them.
KEN WHEATON 
How much for the chimp clock? I’ve already got a few stuffed primates in my office.
Gene Simmons is correct.. I refuse to do anything my wife tells me, ill take a shower when I’m dam good and ready.