Ten Rumors About Rihanna

So rumors are swirling that Rihanna is going to totally sing a duet with beat-down artist Chris Brown. She’s a forgive-and-forget kind of girl it seems. Do I know if that rumor is true? Hell no. And I’m not looking at any pop culture sites to find out, either. Here are 10 more Rihanna rumors I’ve heard … and by heard, I mean “totally made up”:

1. She’s tapped Bernie Madoff to be her financial adviser.
2. She’s asked Michael Vick to watch her dogs when she’s out of town.
3. She’s going to let Tim Geithner do her taxes.
4. She’s letting Barack Obama vet her staff.
5. She’s asked George Bush to handle her PR.
6. She’s letting Rahm Emanuel oversee her line of condolence cards.
7. She’s turned to Tom Cruise for spiritual advice.
8. She’ll be getting all her relationship advice from Gene Simmons.
9. She’s ask Bruce Vilanch to be her stylist.
10. And, looking ahead to when she and Chris start popping out babies, she’s tapped Michael Jackson as godfather and babysitter.