Great way to start the day

Walking to the subway this morning, I noticed armies of kids on the march. Oh no. Field-trip day of some sort. Thankfully, none of the chitlins were climbing aboard my train. Indeed, I found a seat on the 4. But at some point my luck ran out … and ran out big. No gaggle of 6-year-old cuties for me. Rather, a horde of 12-year-old boys who’d never heard of that little thing we call “Inside voices.” The teacher tried a couple of times, but his heart didn’t seem in it. Hell, the only bit of conversation I caught was him telling the kids “Crack didn’t exist back then.” To which one of the kids said, “I only seen cocaine once” … at which point another in the group, a budding Oscar Wao meets Ignatius Reilly type started complaining that he was too warm (while wearing a down vest, cap and black mittens while dancing in place).

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