If you’re reading this blog, you’ve undoubtedly developed a fascination with the way I live my life. You sometimes probably find yourself thinking, “WWKD?” or “What’s Ken doing now?” And sometimes, you probably guess exactly wrong. But that’s my fault, because I don’t provide enough guidance.
For example, you may think I start my day with a thick mix of political news, heavy reading and a lot of opinion just to get the engine started. You’d be wrong. Exactly wrong.
1. On a typical week day, I roll out of bed around 8:30. I turn on New York 1 so I can check the temperature and, hopefully, catch some insanity going on between Pat Keirnan and Roger Clark. If Bloomberg is on the TV — or one of these morons advocating for Caroline Kennedy — then yes, I will yell at the TV.
2. I sit myself down at a computer and check my gmail account.
3. Then I check Google Reader. At this point, I don’t actually read any of the blogs, RSS feeds I’ve subscribed to. I only check it for real estate listings, hoping to find that a “retardedly” overpriced Brooklyn apartment has come down to simply “stupidly” overpriced. (For those of you in the non New York vicinity, we’re at the point where $500K for an 800 square foot two bedroom is a GOOD deal). We’re still renting, so you know how that’s working out.
4. I check out LOLCats at I Can Has Cheezburger.
5. I check out cute puppies at The Daily Puppy. If it’s not a lab, a golden, a husky or some similar breed, I don’t click through. If it is a lab or a golden, I click through and then send the link to my wife.
6. I check for other animal-related ridiculousness at Cute Overload. Laugh if you will, but that’s where I found such hits as “Marmoset There’d Be Days Like This” and “Otters Holding Hands.” (I have a responsibility to my coworkers — and you too! — to find things like this.)
7. I check Drudge Report to see if Obama has turned the entire country into a Gay Communist Paradise or if a Volcano is attacking Los Angeles.
8. If I’m particularly energetic, I will log into the publishing tool at work and approve (or reject) comments made on our news stories.
And that’s it. I don’t read any other blogs. I don’t read any other news sites. That’s what work is for!