Swine Flu Turns You Into an Asshole

A swine flu protest? Brilliant idea. In the midst of media-induced hysteria, we’ve come to believe we live in a community just crawling with swine flu. So let’s get a bunch of people together in one spot and scream, shout and breathe all over one another! (For the record, it seems hardly anyone turned out for the protest. I’m sure swine flu is relieved.)

And when they do close the schools, let the kids go to the mall!

Actually, it’s unfair to call these people assholes and blame it on swine flu. It’s unfair to swine flu. Only one of the 12 or so schools closed has any confirmed cases of actual swine flu.

One thought on “Swine Flu Turns You Into an Asshole

  1. And one of those schools is the $30K + a year Horrace Mann. My friend’s two children are out of school for a week! Can you imagine what kinds of bill those kids rack up at the mall? Lucky for her she can swing two tuitions plus a full time nanny and the flu-cation shopping sprees…

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