I don’t know him. Hell, I don’t even watch half the shows/movies he writes about. For example, I haven’t read a word of Twilight or seen anything beyond the trailers. But I will read his entire recaps. Why? Because he’s hilarious.
But oh well, mom needs to hit the road, so up Bella goes. When she gets there her dad, who is the sheriff of the town and is named Billy or something, is all “Hey kiddo, I don’t know how to cook because I live alone and am a man, want a cold hot dog?” And Bella is all “Daaad, I’ll cook for you, I’m a girl.” So she starts to cook for him and he looks at her mustachely and decides to buy her a car so she can get around his drizzle kingdom.
Mustachely. My new favorite adverb.