I didn’t get past page three of Elizabeth Gilbert’s “Eat Pray Love.” I physically could not read any further. I’m an eye-roller. And by that point, my eyes had pretty much locked into a backward-facing position. “Oh, c’mon,” was the reaction I kept having. It’s not that the writing was bad. It wasn’t. I just felt like I was listening to a rich white woman whine about her life. I also knew how many women had fallen for this garbage. Here’s a secret, folks. Unlucky in love and at a transitional stage in your life? All you need is a few hundred thousand dollars and a trip around the world. Amazing what a vacation can do! Of course, what it can’t do is guarantee you love or enlightenment that lasts.
Which, according to The New York Post in a story called Eat Pray Zilch, some people learned the hard way. “Eat Pray Love pilgrims — who sought out the meaning of life — say they wound up broke and totally broken.”
Ya think? Spending $20,000 for advice from some joker in India didn’t solve your life problems? Shocker.
How desperate are these women for love? Christ. That’s not to say this is gender-specific. Not at all. How many thousands of dollars do lonely men dump into strip clubs, escorts or, for those looking for “relationships,” mail-order brides and schemes like The Mystery Method.
That’s right. There are men out there so desperate, confused and lonely that they will pay a STREET MAGICIAN thousands of dollars for tricks on bagging a lady. You know, because magicians are just notorious for their ways with women.
Hell, here’s an idea. And I’ll give it to everyone for free. Start a book club exclusively for women who loved Eat Pray Love and men who bought The Mystery Method. They’re all looking for the same thing after all. I can’t guarantee that it will lead to love connections or everlasting happiness. But it’s a hell of a lot cheaper than going to India.