Abba vs. Hannibal Lecter

Or put less delicately, “Dancing Queen” vs. “If I Could Smell Your Cunt.”

Two weekends, two musicals. One was Mamma Mia, the Broadway musical based on the songs of Abba. The other was Silence!, the off-broadway musical based on the movie Silence of the Lambs.

One, everyone’s heard of and many may have even mocked for the ten tons of cheese it serves up. The other, most people haven’t heard of so they can’t grouse about the ten tons of filth–FILTH–it serves up.

I enjoyed both. If you know me, I don’t think I have to tell you that I preferred the play that featured face eating, simulated ejaculate throwing, a song-and-dance number set to “Will You Fuck Me? I’d Fuck Me” (I’m not going to spoil anything about how the penis tuck is pulled off), and a side character that was basically the rebirth of Johnny (aka Controller Jacobs) from Airplane.

That’s not to say I didn’t enjoy Mamma Mia. Love me some Abba. They’re no Milli Vanilli, but still . . . And at least the folks in the play, unlike the ones in the movie, could sing. (Though there was something charming about watching those A-list actors in the movie make such asses of themselves). I do have one complaint, though, in that while the women were attractive, they weren’t dressed sexily enough and even when they wore something mildly revealing they had unsightly ass-bulges where the microphone packs were. The men, on the other hand … well, I don’t appreciate spending that kind of money on a show that, when the young groom rips off his shirt and reveals his disgustingly chiseled body, has the entire female half audience catch its breath for a moment — and perhaps involuntarily squeeze the hand of the man they’re there with — then burst into applause. Unseemly.