This morning while at the cafe stirring things into my coffee, I did what I usually do: Before taking the lid off the cup, I grabbed a napkin and placed it on the counter so that my overturned lid — you know, the part where you put your mouth — would not come into contact with a surface covered with spilled sugar, drying dairy products and, perhaps, the footprints of flies. Basic sanitary precaution, right?
Well, two strange things about it.
1. I rarely notice other people doing this. Even that women who walks around with Purell in her pockets will just put the lid on a plain counter.
2. Why the hell do I do it? It’s not that I don’t follow basic sanitation practices. I wash my hands after going to the bathroom, after all. But thinking about it, I don’t think I’ve ever washed my hands after getting off the subway and before going to Popeyes–a food I not only eat with my hands, but that eventually leads to some hardcore finger licking. Hell, I’m the kind of guy who will lean his face against a subway pole (only if the car is mostly empty, because otherwise pole-leaning is rude). I’m also the sort who’s left food out of the fridge for an extended period of time and eaten it anyway. And, with the exception of dairy products, I tend to view expiration dates as a rough guideline — Hey, these eggs still SMELL fine.
Also, I don’t get a flu shot.
But, you know, that one piece of paper on the cafe counter will save me every time. Or something.
KEN WHEATON 