Gossip Bloggers in Hell

Here’s one vision of hell:

And so he stands in the mouth of his alley and waits as a megabyte of Internet gossip bloggers lurches by, the men in starlet-at-the-beach bikinis with celluloid-ravaged thighs and acid-seeping hard-ons, the women paunchy droopy naked but for Speedo trunks, weighed heavily about their necks with molten-hot gold pop-star bling, and all of them—a thousand or more—pass by in a long, dense gaggle, pinching and punching each other. Hatcher’s neighborhood has many journalists, and this gossip-blogger group lives at the very edge, at a distant turning of the Parkway where other denizens never actually go in person, where only this subset of bloggers huddle together over laptop screens, zinging each other.

From Robert Olen Butler’s novel, Hell, which is set in, well, Hell. But before you start developing strong feelings either way about the inclusion of gossip bloggers in Hell, in Butler’s version, EVERYONE goes to Hell. Every. One.