Author: kenwheaton

Yesterday, I broke down and did it. I bought a gas grill. I feel a little like a traitor, but I’ll get over it. I, after all, unlike most of the rest of you, know the difference between grilling and proper barbecue. I have a proper charcoal/wood fired smoker. And you’ll never hear me refer to the food that comes off the grill as “barbecue.”

What I’m trying to say is that I’m morally superior to you and, maybe, more of a man.

But not so manly that, when the weather turns nice, will get home on a week night open a bag of charcoal, wait fifteen minutes to half an hour for that to get going properly — BECAUSE WE DO NOT USE LIGHTER FLUID, PEOPLE! — and then cook, and then clean it all up.
Continue reading “Now We’re Cooking With Gas” →

Thankfully, I don’t pay taxes in Louisiana. Because if I received the refund that Cara just received, I’d be having fits. As it is, it pisses me off.

It’s not the amount. It’s the fact that the State of Louisiana, for the 53% of residents who don’t get direct deposit, is refunding taxpayer money — money that is rightfully yours to do as you wish — as a debit card. A Chase-branded Visa debit card.

The state claims this is saving it money — and therefore taxpayer money.

What a load of shit.

Imagine if your refund is $147.50. How are you going to get that money out of the ATM? You can get out $140. And then go through the trouble of depositing that cash. What about the $7.50?

You pretty much have to spend it. God forbid you save it. You can still make a special request for a check. Or set up a check from your debit card. If you are so inclined — and want to jump through the hoops. But this seems to me as set up precisely to encourage spending.

And if you don’t spend it, what happens to the money? According to this story, “the cards will be good for one year from the date of issue.”

Sounds like a gift card, no? And one of the reasons stores love selling gift cards is because after a certain amount of time all of that unclaimed money goes back to them.

And there’s this: “And though Chase will not levy a fee the first time a card is used to make a withdrawal at a non-Chase ATM, it will levy fees on subsequent transactions at other banks’ ATMs.”

Nice. Really nice.

I’m getting disproportionately bent about this, but keep in mind this is not the government GIVING you its money. This is the government playing with money that you paid to it and that it owes you.

Or put it this way. Imagine loaning $200 bucks to someone. And when it came time to pay you back, they did so with an Amex gift card.

And don’t tell me Georgia does it too. “Georgia does it too” is never justification for anything.

This morning after finishing my run, while walking back home on Berkeley (I think), a man came out through the front door of a brownstone.

He was wearing a shirt. And jeans.

But no shoes.

And he was playing a mandolin.

Just standing there on his stoop, with no shoes on, playing a mandolin while looking up and down the street.

How laid back was our vacation? I wore shoes for an hour on Monday to walk the dogs and I got a blister.

A blister! From wearing shoes for an hour!