Category: WTF?

A Challenge for LOLCatalogians

Posted on by kenwheaton in LOLCats, WTF?

In response to the below rare footage of Roof Kittehs in their natural habitat, fellow Twitter user Anton Olsen posed the following question: “Is the Roof Kitteh a higher authority than even the Ceiling Cat?”

This is an excellent question. Twitter user sk8bette points out that while the roof is higher than the ceiling, the ceiling is harder to cling to and therefore Ceiling Cat possesses more skill. Of this, I am not sure. After all, Ceiling Cat dwells within the ceiling usually, no? Perhaps what we have here is a Titans-Olympians dynamic. Unfortunately, the Authority on all things LOLcats provides no guidance on this subject.

What Is Wrong With People? Movie Edition

Posted on by kenwheaton in Movies, Reviews, WTF?

So last night I went to see District 9 at the United Artist Court Street Stadium 12. If you’ve been to this theater, your probably already know where this is heading. This, after all, is the same theater where I’ve witnessed:

1) A family bring in a full Chinese takeout meal consisting of soup and noodles, which they slurped throughout the movie. Oh. The movie was “United 93.”
2) A woman bring in six kids under the age of 12 to watch “The Watchmen.”

Any rate, I thought I’d be safe. I was wrong.
Continue reading “What Is Wrong With People? Movie Edition” →

Subway Gods Can Lick My . . .

Posted on by kenwheaton in MTA, Subway, WTF?

9:45 a.m. Board 4 Train at Borough Hall. Head toward Manhattan.
9:50 to 10:00. Subway sits, unmoving, due to “sick passenger” at Bowling Green.
10:00 to 10:15. Subway sits, unmoving, due to “smoke conditions” at Wall Street.
10:15. Subway turned back to Brooklyn
10:20. Arrive at Borough Hall via 4 Train.
10:25. Find R Train. Take R Train to Union Square. Transfer to 6.
11:10 a.m. Arrive at work.

Because of a fucking wire!!!!

Best RickRoll Ever

Posted on by kenwheaton in WTF?

I’m not impressed by much on the web. Okay, I’m impressed by entirely too much on the web. But this is pretty damn awesome. It’s not funny necessarily. But it’s definitely rad to the power of sick.

Sustainability Is the New Fascist

Posted on by kenwheaton in politics, Rants, Writing, WTF?

Watching the news this morning, I heard some wank going on about his project and it sounded like this. “Blah blah blah sustainability blah blah blah urban blah blah blah sustainability blah blah blah buy this.”

The word sustainability, much like the word fascist, seems to have lost all meaning due to overuse by loads of people who, having never even known the original intent of the word, throw it around as a catchall. Perhaps not coincidentally, it seems that the people who ground fascist into a meaningless pulp are the exact same people who like to use sustainability.

As far as I can tell, these are the current definitions of both words.

Fascist: someone who disagrees with my historically ignorant and vaguely progressive world view.

Sustainability: a marketing term implying something environmental; used to sell pretty much anything to green-worshippers. Please view my sustainable water bottles, my sustainable shirts, my sustainable car tires, my sustainable dog-grooming kit, my sustainable art project. (See also: organic)

God, I feel like such a fascist for writing this.

A Word About Instruction Manuals

Posted on by kenwheaton in WTF?

Dear manufacturers of electronics devices. I know you think your device is so intuitive that a drunk baby could figure it out. And I appreciate those six-page quick-start guides that let us–especially the guys–just fire up our toys and get going. BUT YOU SHOULD BE INCLUDING THE ENTIRE INSTRUCTION MANUAL WITH MY PURCHASE.

Here’s the deal. Many times your product isn’t as intuitive as you think it is–especially when it comes to setting or changing preferences. And this includes you, Apple (though this particular rant isn’t inspired by an Apple product). And some of us LIKE to read instruction manuals or at least have them handy so that we don’t have to call tech support, which typically means calling a guy in India who will then read the instruction manual to us.

Sure, I know. I can go to the web and download the PDF. But you know what? I just shelled out hundred of dollars for this thing. Why should I have to take more time to go download a PDF and then, if I’m so old school I want to print out the instruction manual (maybe so I can multitask on the toilet), waste 200 or 300 pages of my own paper and all that toner cartridge or ink (or, in some cases, my employer’s paper and ink).

Listen, I get it. Paper and printing is expensive. Especially when research shows no one is reading the damn instruction manual. And this lets you claim to be environmentally aware–“Oooh. Look. We’re saving paper. Oooo.”

But I don’t care. I want my instruction manual IN THE BOX. And, also, I hate trees.

Oh No She Didn’t

Posted on by kenwheaton in WTF?

Marion Barry might be the star of his own cracked-out life, but he gets seriously upstaged by his lady friend in these transcripts (and audio clips!). Go directly to Clip 10 and listen for this bit.

You put me out in Denver cause I wouldn’t suck your dick. You put me out in Denver! You made me have to fuck your ass up in the middle of a [unintelligible]. We were like fuckin’ Tina and Ike Turner.

I guess upstaging him isn’t hard to do, though, as the long rambling messages he left for her sound sort of pathetic.