Barack Obama = Grand Theft Auto

Did you keep your kids home from school yesterday as a protest against Barack Obama’s speech? Good going. You could have let your kid go to school where he or she would have found out that the Super Coolest President of the U.S. Ever is about as stimulating as day-old decaf. You could have exposed your kid to the reality of a grown-up in a suit blathering on about staying in school and being good and trying to be cool by mentioning Facebook.*

But no, you just made the president as cool as an M-Rated video game. You really showed him!

*(Of course, you could also have sent your kid to school, telling Little Johnny that though you disagree with the president, he IS the president and, in a Democracy, we give even our opponents a chance to make the case. But that’s just deranged commie talk on my part.)

One Bill to Rule Them All

Before Congress passes one more bill this year, the following should be signed into law:

No bill shall be voted into law without every member of Congress having read said bill.

And, yes, it’s that simple. I’m sure there will be those who claim I’m oversimplifying very complex matters, to which there is only one valid response: bullshit.

Continue reading “One Bill to Rule Them All”

Sustainability Is the New Fascist

Watching the news this morning, I heard some wank going on about his project and it sounded like this. “Blah blah blah sustainability blah blah blah urban blah blah blah sustainability blah blah blah buy this.”

The word sustainability, much like the word fascist, seems to have lost all meaning due to overuse by loads of people who, having never even known the original intent of the word, throw it around as a catchall. Perhaps not coincidentally, it seems that the people who ground fascist into a meaningless pulp are the exact same people who like to use sustainability.

As far as I can tell, these are the current definitions of both words.

Fascist: someone who disagrees with my historically ignorant and vaguely progressive world view.

Sustainability: a marketing term implying something environmental; used to sell pretty much anything to green-worshippers. Please view my sustainable water bottles, my sustainable shirts, my sustainable car tires, my sustainable dog-grooming kit, my sustainable art project. (See also: organic)

God, I feel like such a fascist for writing this.

George W. Bush on Iran Protests

George W. Bush talking about unrest in Iran in 2003:

I believe that some day freedom will prevail everywhere, because freedom is a powerful drive for people to… and it’s the beginnings of people expressing themselves toward a free Iran, which I think is positive.

Barack Obama on the current protests:


Well, that’s not exactly the case, but it’s close.

One of the things Obama has said is that whatever happens, there isn’t a hell of a lot of difference between Moussavi and Ahmadinejad. “Either way,” Mr. Obama said, the United States is “going to be dealing with an Iranian regime that has historically been hostile to the United States, that has caused some problems in the neighborhood and is pursuing nuclear weapons.”

Guess what? Obama’s right about that. Conservatives rant and rail about that all the time saying things like, “There’s no such thing as a ‘moderate’ in that part of the world.” (Of course that doesn’t stop them from hammering Obama for making the exact same point.)

But that doesn’t mean Obama gets to sit on the sidelines in silence and not voice support for a pro-democracy uprising in a theocratic state that considers the U.S. the Great Satan. And it certainly doesn’t mean he should be referring to violent oppression as “debate” and actually calling the true leaders of Iran, the “Supreme Leader.”

That stated reason for the silence is that he’s keeping his eye on the nuclear talks with the true powers in Iran. As much as I admire a bit of real politik, the truly delusional thing here is believing those talks are ever going to amount to anything other than a lake of glass somewhere in the Middle East — whether it be Israel, Iraq or Saudi Arabia.

We don’t have to bomb Iran. We don’t have to be bellicose. A statement of support from the United States would show that our government actually cares about the PEOPLE of Iran. God knows that Americans of all stripes–via Twitter and other media–are making that clear.

The thing is that if enough people keep bitching at him about it–even Hillary Clinton and Joe Biden are reported to be pushing him to take an actual stance–he probably will change his mind.

As someone said yesterday, “He’s trying to vote ‘present,’ but he can’t.”

He’s the president now, not a junior senator from Illinois. He should act like it.

Sotomayor and the Dangerous Douche Bag

Uh-oh. It turns out that Sonia Sotomayor has ruined her chances with the Web 2.0 crowd, choosing the wrong side in a free-speech blogging issue. Now she’ll never get nominated!

Avery Doninger was disqualified from running for school government at Lewis S. Mills High School in Burlington after she posted something on her blog, referring to the superintendent and other officials as “douche bags” because they canceled a battle of the bands she had helped to organize.

And Sotomayor, using her superpowers — “Empathy” and “Latina Wisdom” — ruled against little Avery! Actually, she and the other judges said they felt Avery’s pain and didn’t think the punishment fit the crime, but figured it was none of their damn business what the school did to her. In other words: “Sorry, kid. Now scram.” (Which is actually a very valuable lesson for children these days.)

I have no doubt Sotomayor will be able to best what’s left of the Republican party. But how she expects to be appointed without the support of Twitterers, Bloggers and BoingBoing nation is beyond me.

McCain Talks ‘Abstience’ in OK ‘Magazine’

mccainokNothing will convince voters that you’re serious about politics like being interviewed by a tabloid rag. Especially one that can’t spell. (Note the spelling of abstinence.) Or one that didn’t really interview McCain. It simply took quotes from her Daily Beast column. So, really, no bad on her part (for once!) The Republicans who are already annoyed with McCain’s antics are going to — well, they’re going to be really annoyed now. And no one else will care.

Nation’s First Black President Tells U.N. to Stuff Anti-Racism Conference

Good for the Obama administration.

A major United Nations anti-racism conference was thrown into further disarray Sunday when more countries joined a U.S. boycott amid concerns it was developing into a platform for attacking Israel.

The United Nation’s anti-racism efforts make about as much sense as its Human Right Commission, both of which have turned into little more than pot-clanging lunatic shelters for the likes of Iran, Sudan and other countries that have elevated torture and violation of human rights to art forms. Sure. Let’s take lessons on racism from the sort of anti-Semites who would make Hitler seem like a Jew-lover. These are people that want to make it illegal to joke about their religion while calling Jews a bunch of baby-killing, half-pig/half-ape vampires.

The United Nations is a joke. The fact that it was George W. Bush saying as much for the last eight years didn’t make it any less a statement of fact. Perhaps one benefit of having Democrats in charge will be that we can ALL admit that without being called torture-happy right-wing reactionaries. When it comes to attacking the U.S., the West, and the sorts of civilizations that gave it life, it’s a cacophony of ankle-biting goons. When it comes to doing something–anything–about actual evil and true threats to the world at large, it’s both blind and toothless.

Of course, there’s always one bunch of useful idiots in our midst (and it’s typically this same bunch). The Congressional Black Caucus, last seen on its knees sucking off the Castro regime, is “deeply dismayed” that the Obama administration didn’t itself embrace a knee-jerk response just because the brain trust in the U.N. decided to call its hate fest an “anti-racism” conference. I don’t expect our elected representatives to have IQs much higher than a box of saltines, but these clowns continually fail to meet even my basement-level expectations.