It’s like these robot nerds have never watched Terminator or Lost. What are they thinking? You can practically hear the robo-darwinists from Earth’s bleak future talking about the first robot that slithered out of the primordial ooze. Behold! Snakebot!
Oddly enough, I really dig Kristen Bell. She just seems to be up for anything when it comes to roles, even putting up with fanboys and what not. But this music video? Jeebus M. Crow, what the holy hell? (Via Gawker TV)
I was told earlier this week that Victoria’s Secret’s new Pink NFL lineup doesn’t include the Super Bowl Champion New Orleans Saints. So I put my “journalism” “skills” to work to see what it was all about. Every other journalist out there might as well go home, because the resulting piece is surely this year’s Pulitzer winner.
My inner ten-year-old just went insane.
I didn’t get past page three of Elizabeth Gilbert’s “Eat Pray Love.” I physically could not read any further. I’m an eye-roller. And by that point, my eyes had pretty much locked into a backward-facing position. “Oh, c’mon,” was the reaction I kept having. It’s not that the writing was bad. It wasn’t. I just felt like I was listening to a rich white woman whine about her life. I also knew how many women had fallen for this garbage. Here’s a secret, folks. Unlucky in love and at a transitional stage in your life? All you need is a few hundred thousand dollars and a trip around the world. Amazing what a vacation can do! Of course, what it can’t do is guarantee you love or enlightenment that lasts.
Continue reading “Gullible for Gurus”
Curled up on the couch the other night, convinced I was about to die from a combination of aneurysm, stroke and cancer, I fell back to playing a game we used to play in grad school.
If you died in your apartment tonight, how many days would it be before someone noticed?
Continue reading “Your Stinking Corpse”
Yo, it’s Frodo over here and I’ve got a ring that needs getting rid of. But the MTA has canceled subway service to Mount Doom and I’m sure as hell not walking over there. I thought about giving it to Gollum, but he hasn’t been the same since he took a job writing tax code for the Federal government. (He was seen on a street corner, rubbing his hands and saying “Mine! Mine! Mine! over and over again and they had to have him.)
But seriously, as the separation slowly marches toward divorce, I’ve finally gotten my grubby mitts back on the engagement ring. Continue reading “For Sale: One Slightly Used Engagement Ring”