The family of four was treating the subway car like they’d treat the beach at Coney Island, throwing trash under the seats, building a nest of garbage. And not just paper, mind you. The father was making sandwiches and throwing slices of salami under the seats. I half expected sea gulls and pigeons to get on at the next stop.
Continue reading “One Day I Will Get Shot”
Author: kenwheaton
Terminators Three and Four
So last night I watched Terminator: Rise of the Machines and Terminator Salvation (you know it’s deep because they purposely left out the colon … from the title, I mean. I don’t know if they bothered putting colons in the robots. It didn’t come up).
I predict that if you sat through the first two Terminators and enjoyed them, you’ll enjoy these enough. T4 and T3 were pretty much equal in terms of quality. If however you thought the first two were some sort of achievement in cinema and feel vaguely about them the way some people feel about Star Wars, then you’ll likely be gravely disappointed. As with the original Star Wars, I believe there’s a bit of nostalgia-tinged critical inflation for the first two. They were good, yes, but they’re much better in our memories than they were in reality.
And I didn’t find T3 or T4 anywhere near as awful as Lucas’ attempt to revive Star Wars.
Spoiler alert a couple grafs below.
What the critics have said about T4 is mostly true: humorless, dark, noisy and silly. Of course, all of these movies were silly. Giant robots from the future! Further, Christian Bale and McG need to quit taking themselves so damn seriously. They both did a passable job, but Bale should lose some of his auteur points after all these press interviews in which he admits he forced them to rewrite the movie to make the role of John Connor bigger. And McG? Well, McG should perhaps shouldn’t set his sights in higher than Fastest and Furiosest or some such.
All of that said, I enjoyed both movies fine. I like seeing how these things unfold–even if they are silly. And I appreciated all of the little reverse Terminator touches in T4. For example: We sent a robot from the past! That robot may be more human than the humans! John Connor ain’t anything like the leader of the resistance.
Anyway. I didn’t hate it. And that’s all I gotta say about that.
Reading: Luis Alberto Urrea
Sunday, May 31. 7 p.m.
Luis Alberto Urrea, a former teacher and thesis adviser, and a friend of mine, will be reading from his latest novel, Into the Beautiful North, at KGB Bar* in Manhattan.
85 East 4th Street,
New York, NY
(between Second Ave and Bowery)
I’m going. You should too!
*It’s a testimony to how much I like his writing that I’m going to set foot in a bar named after the KGB.
Oh Those Crazy Gays
File this under quote of the week:
Gays represent a small percentage of the population, but they are powerful church leaders, politicians, judges, and movie executives. For the most part they are white males who have sexed themselves out on perverted sex and they are never satisfied.
That’s a writing sample from the crazy lady what got dragged off kicking and screaming after trying to attack Barack Obama with a letter telling him not to give in to the Satanic forces of Gay America. Seriously. Read the whole thing.
That’s deranged with a capital D. The only good thing about this is that, for once, it’s not some crazy cracker foaming at the mouth about the gays. Let some other group claim the lunatic.
I do think Reverend Brenda Lee buried the lead though. According to Rev. Lee, “Several months ago, the practice of priests sleeping with Protestant virgins before their marriage to Catholic males surfaced.”
(Via Gawker)
Sotomayor and the Dangerous Douche Bag
Uh-oh. It turns out that Sonia Sotomayor has ruined her chances with the Web 2.0 crowd, choosing the wrong side in a free-speech blogging issue. Now she’ll never get nominated!
Avery Doninger was disqualified from running for school government at Lewis S. Mills High School in Burlington after she posted something on her blog, referring to the superintendent and other officials as “douche bags” because they canceled a battle of the bands she had helped to organize.
And Sotomayor, using her superpowers — “Empathy” and “Latina Wisdom” — ruled against little Avery! Actually, she and the other judges said they felt Avery’s pain and didn’t think the punishment fit the crime, but figured it was none of their damn business what the school did to her. In other words: “Sorry, kid. Now scram.” (Which is actually a very valuable lesson for children these days.)
I have no doubt Sotomayor will be able to best what’s left of the Republican party. But how she expects to be appointed without the support of Twitterers, Bloggers and BoingBoing nation is beyond me.
Jersey Shore Has Nothing on Wales
Wow. Cardiff, Wales, apparently wants to give both New Jersey and New Orleans an inferiority complex when it comes to binge drinking. You have to check out these photos.
Swine Flu Turns You Into an Asshole
A swine flu protest? Brilliant idea. In the midst of media-induced hysteria, we’ve come to believe we live in a community just crawling with swine flu. So let’s get a bunch of people together in one spot and scream, shout and breathe all over one another! (For the record, it seems hardly anyone turned out for the protest. I’m sure swine flu is relieved.)
And when they do close the schools, let the kids go to the mall!
Actually, it’s unfair to call these people assholes and blame it on swine flu. It’s unfair to swine flu. Only one of the 12 or so schools closed has any confirmed cases of actual swine flu.
I Am Not Cajun Boy
This will make sense only to those of you who read Gawker, but after repeated queries I figured I’d just make it clear here. I am not the Gawker blogger known as Cajun Boy (aka the former commenter known as Cajun Boy in the City).
I read Gawker every day. They’re kind enough to link to my work stuff from time to time and they’ve gently mocked me in the past. But I don’t write for them. Even if I wouldn’t be fired for doing so, I don’t have the energy to contribute and, compared to their regular writers, I’m practically Newt Gingrich when it comes to politics. I’m also entirely too egotistical to write for any site and NOT use my real name. After all, I have a novel coming out in December. (The First Annual Grand Prairie Rabbit Festival’s official release date is Dec. 29.)
I know nothing about Cajun Boy other than he nabbed a great name. He seems like a nice enough guy and has his own blog, too.
Anyway, just figured I’d let you all know.
Asimov’s Laws of Robotics Complete Crap
A great piece over on Gizmodo talking about Asimov’s laws regarding robots and ethics. You know, “Yadda, yadda, yadda. Do no harm to humans. Blah-de-blah-blah-blah.”
The point here is that much of the funding for robotic research comes from the military, which is paying for robots that follow the very opposite of Asimov’s laws. It explicitly wants robots that can kill, won’t take orders from just any human, and don’t care about their own existences.
Suck it, robots!